11 years in september

i still miss you mom
and i wanted you to know

this september has been hard
thinking of you being gone 11 years
realizing in 10 years i'll be your final age
abby gone almost 20 years
and now alex gone 10 months
grief

what did you think when you saw alex
were you glad to see him
do you know what he did
or is that knowledge kept from you
do you realize he was only 24
when he forced himself into eternity

you died unexpectedly
i wasn't ready to let you go
i thought i'd have you another 20 years
all my losses have been sudden
except the lingering grandmothers

mary got married
can you believe it
and now she and jeremiah are having a baby
your first great-grand-child
it's a boy
so much joy and expectation mixes with my grief