i can hear my mom sing

I attend church every week.

Every week our liturgy includes words that say we ascend to heaven and commune with the saints (Christians who have died and gone to heaven.)

Every once in awhile, I hear my mother’s voice during the congregational singing. My eyes fill with water when that happens. These are happy tears, happy that she’s in heaven. But they are sad tears too, because, well, I’m selfish, and I want my mom sometimes!

Each week, we sing the sanctus. That WAS Abby’s song. This song doesn’t make me teary-eyed anymore, but I do think of Abby in heaven every time I sing it.

As I’m updating my website in October 2024, I have a few posts I had started writing but never published. This is one of them. I wrote it February 26, 2016 (Abby’s birthday)

Today I’m finishing it up!

We don’t sing that version of the Sanctus in church anymore. It was simple and lovely.

Over the years, our song leaders have changed the Sanctus several times. Now we sing one in four parts in canon that is rather complicated. It is also lovely, but in a different way, an d it is not Abby’s song at all. I miss singing Abby’s song.

Several years ago, I asked if we could go back to the original version even for just one Sunday. The answer was no. The answer was that it wasn’t musically complex enough.

Good grief.

And grief!

Back to hearing my mom’s voice. Do you ever hear the voice of a loved one who has died?