grieving with guinever

another question from a 3 year old

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“How did Abby die?”

Mary has asked that a few times and I’ve always answered, “She got hit by a car.” She was always satisfied with that answer and never said anything more. But a couple days ago, we had this same exchange, but it didn’t stop there. She asked me if Abby went into the road.

“No, Abby didn’t go into the road. She got hit by a car in the driveway,” I said.

Mary said, “A car came into the driveway and hit Abby?”

I said, “No, Abby just got hit by a car.”

Fortunately, this answer satisfied her. I am not ready to tell her more details about her sister’s death. I will wait until she is old enough to understand what I’m saying. I’ll wait for a time when I know that she won’t ask me about it repeatedly.

Don’t get me wrong. I am more than willing to talk about the circumstances of Abby’s death and be totally honest about it and answer all of Mary’s questions. I just don’t want to have to answer the same question over and over and over and over again like we’ve been doing with everything else.

Is Abby with God?
Is God with Abby?
Did Abby die?
Is Abby in heaven?
Is Abby my sister?

I also don’t want her to be afraid of certain things…

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