grieving with guinever

Baby Girl, Baby Girl,
Can you see?
The Father’s love is pouring down on thee.

Baby Girl, Baby Girl, can you hear?
Rushing waters angels everywhere.

You were created in his image, knitted in my womb,
with his finger, He’ll touch that smile upon your face.

Baby Girl, Baby Girl,
Can you feel?
The hug of heaven,
My womb around your shape.

A couple years ago, Kate Kelty wrote this song titled, “Baby Girl” when she was in the last few weeks of her pregnancy with Anna.

Shortly before my 2 year old daughter Abby died, another baby died. I first heard about the death during announcements at church. A stillborn baby. Full-term. This was baby Anna. Every pregnant woman’s worst fear had become a reality for Kate and her husband. I hugged my baby Mary a little tighter, and cried. It could just as easily happen to me or someone close to me or to one of the couples in my childbirth class.

Later in the week, two friends asked me if I knew Kate and had I heard what had happened. I didn’t know her, but yes, I had heard. I wanted to write to her, but I was afraid. I didn’t know her and didn’t know what to say. My mother’s heart was aching for her.

But then when my Abby died, I contacted Kate. We had both lost a daughter. We exchanged letters, and she sent me this song that she had written. We’ve been out of touch in the last year, but have kept up with each other through a mutual friend. Now my blog brings us together again. I asked Kate if I could post her song here and so I offer it to you with her permission.

Kate writes, “I wrote this song several weeks before we lost Anna- and sang it to her daily up until that day.- and everyday after until my son John was born. Not that it has become less important- but I have given myself permission to stop and to begin singing more to John.”

Baby Girl, Baby Girl,
Can you feel?
The hug of heaven,
My womb around your shape.

“The hug of heaven, my womb around your shape. “I just love the words that Kate chose for her song. When Kate wrote those words, she had no idea that baby Anna would go straight from the womb into heaven.

I understand her need to sing Anna’s song everyday and I also understand her need to stop, to give herself permission to stop. This has been my experience as well.